my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
