Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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