tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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