accomplished twins. life is a go
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
