Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
