barbara walters just said penis...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
MIDGETS
????
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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