Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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