So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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