In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
