Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
