Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water

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(205): View more from Alabama

One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.

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(516): View more from New York

Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now

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(678): View more from Georgia

Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.

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(937): View more from Ohio

so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.

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(206): View more from Washington

I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.

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(408): View more from California

I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.

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(214): View more from Texas

I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary

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(204): View more from Manitoba

She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.

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