..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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