just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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