Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
