you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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