ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize