i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
