She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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