stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
