They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
