I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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