Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
