Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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