somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
