just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
