two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
