It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Randomize
