I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
