She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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