I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
