Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
it's like iHOP with fire
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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