it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
