That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
