Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
