Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
