i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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