she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
