The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
