me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
