puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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