Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
