There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
did you just send me my own nude
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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