I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize