ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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