Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
