The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
