I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Randomize
