i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
