i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
