I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
We're too hungover to prance.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
