Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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