the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
