I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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