My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
That accounts for only three of the penises
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
