Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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