Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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