Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
