I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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