She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
