At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
