i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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