she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
