Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i dont even know how to be here
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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